Post by Mindless Genius on Feb 22, 2005 23:37:26 GMT -5
(Alright the whole reason I did this was because I'm reading Gullivers travels and thought it could be a lot better, cuz...that book is boring as fuck so here's my version...made it short and sweet)
I set out my journey as a doctor on a ship of about 50 men. A fairly useless position on this ship considering after a big storm I was the only one to survive. I had drifted in the current for some time grabbing onto whatever peaces of the boat I could get that hadn't sunk. After drifting for what seemed to be forever I found my feet touching Earth again. I had been carried all the way to an island. I wadden my way onto shore where I collapsed.
I awoke to find that I could not move. I was tied down by hundreds of tiny stings so tight that I couldn't even scratch my balls. This worried me some fore I had been in the ocean for quite some time and I feared that I may of had crabs. I screamed out in panic and heard loud but small screams returned. I peaked my eye as far to the side as I could and saw people 6 inches of height gathering around me. I yelled for them to release me but they spoke in a language that I could not understand. "Shizzle my nizzle Biotch," the one in charge said to me. I took it to be there greeting and returned it. They then rushed ontop of me and raised small spears to my face. I asked them what I had done and they through the spears at my face, getting me in the eyeballs and up my nose. I've had boogers that had seemed to peirce my brain before but nothing like the peircing I felt then. One hit up my nose again and I lost bowel control for a split second. This however lasted long enough for them to get the picture. They let down thier spears and looked to what I assumed was thier King for further instructions. He spoke something to them, and they nodded. The King then did his best to tell me his intentions with me through hand motions. From what I gathered he could not allow me to go just yet, but he would bring me to his kingdom where I would be fed and he could smoke my sausage. I was unaware of thier customs over here, and if it happened I guess it happens.
The people were very facinated with me. Upon the first day of my arrival they had all gathered up ontop of my chest and started to dance. This would be the first time where I was the center of attention at a party. The classy folks all danced formly on my chest and the less classy of people used the inside of pants like a strip club. The women actually used my weeny as for pole dancing... an experience that was cut short due to flooding of the dance floors.
After sometime there the King offered me more freedoms if I were to take care of some of his enemies for him. I gladly accepted. I swam over to the country just a pools worth of distance of way from Littleputz and saw their approaching army vessels. They stood little chance against me as all they could seem to do was sting me with the blisters of wood that I could just prick out of my skin. I thanked god that I hadn't lost my pants in the shipwreck cause those blisters would have been a problem. I took out the ships like a giant lizard over a large populated city and returned with toLittleputz. You may be wondering why I returned at all. There are two reasons for this. I gave the King my word...and I'm an idiot.
I had more freedoms for my deeds and enjoyed it emensly. I was now able to walk through the city unrestricted. This was a glorious privilage for in this city there wasn't a single top that I could not look down on... I saw down enough of these little chicks shirts to full fill every mans desire to see a bunch of little tits. This experience could not be reproduced anywhere else no matter how many Barbie dolls you look down the shirt of.
After many days of my wandering the city I awoke to the smell of smoke. I looked upon the city to see that it was on fire. I tried my best to put it out with the small buckets that they handed me but it wasn't enough. I found myself doing the only thing I could do...I took a dump on the city. After the poo burned out I finnaly peed out the fire. I had never been so proud of my body functions before in my life. However I found that my deed was not as apprciated by everyone else in the kingdom. They wanted me killed for treason for letting loose on thier glorious kingdom. So upon hearing this I ran for the ocean where I found a small boat that must have just washed to shore at this perfect time for some perfect unknown reason. I sailed out with this until I was found and returned back home with my sexy wife, and cockblock kid. That is...until my next journey.
I set out my journey as a doctor on a ship of about 50 men. A fairly useless position on this ship considering after a big storm I was the only one to survive. I had drifted in the current for some time grabbing onto whatever peaces of the boat I could get that hadn't sunk. After drifting for what seemed to be forever I found my feet touching Earth again. I had been carried all the way to an island. I wadden my way onto shore where I collapsed.
I awoke to find that I could not move. I was tied down by hundreds of tiny stings so tight that I couldn't even scratch my balls. This worried me some fore I had been in the ocean for quite some time and I feared that I may of had crabs. I screamed out in panic and heard loud but small screams returned. I peaked my eye as far to the side as I could and saw people 6 inches of height gathering around me. I yelled for them to release me but they spoke in a language that I could not understand. "Shizzle my nizzle Biotch," the one in charge said to me. I took it to be there greeting and returned it. They then rushed ontop of me and raised small spears to my face. I asked them what I had done and they through the spears at my face, getting me in the eyeballs and up my nose. I've had boogers that had seemed to peirce my brain before but nothing like the peircing I felt then. One hit up my nose again and I lost bowel control for a split second. This however lasted long enough for them to get the picture. They let down thier spears and looked to what I assumed was thier King for further instructions. He spoke something to them, and they nodded. The King then did his best to tell me his intentions with me through hand motions. From what I gathered he could not allow me to go just yet, but he would bring me to his kingdom where I would be fed and he could smoke my sausage. I was unaware of thier customs over here, and if it happened I guess it happens.
The people were very facinated with me. Upon the first day of my arrival they had all gathered up ontop of my chest and started to dance. This would be the first time where I was the center of attention at a party. The classy folks all danced formly on my chest and the less classy of people used the inside of pants like a strip club. The women actually used my weeny as for pole dancing... an experience that was cut short due to flooding of the dance floors.
After sometime there the King offered me more freedoms if I were to take care of some of his enemies for him. I gladly accepted. I swam over to the country just a pools worth of distance of way from Littleputz and saw their approaching army vessels. They stood little chance against me as all they could seem to do was sting me with the blisters of wood that I could just prick out of my skin. I thanked god that I hadn't lost my pants in the shipwreck cause those blisters would have been a problem. I took out the ships like a giant lizard over a large populated city and returned with toLittleputz. You may be wondering why I returned at all. There are two reasons for this. I gave the King my word...and I'm an idiot.
I had more freedoms for my deeds and enjoyed it emensly. I was now able to walk through the city unrestricted. This was a glorious privilage for in this city there wasn't a single top that I could not look down on... I saw down enough of these little chicks shirts to full fill every mans desire to see a bunch of little tits. This experience could not be reproduced anywhere else no matter how many Barbie dolls you look down the shirt of.
After many days of my wandering the city I awoke to the smell of smoke. I looked upon the city to see that it was on fire. I tried my best to put it out with the small buckets that they handed me but it wasn't enough. I found myself doing the only thing I could do...I took a dump on the city. After the poo burned out I finnaly peed out the fire. I had never been so proud of my body functions before in my life. However I found that my deed was not as apprciated by everyone else in the kingdom. They wanted me killed for treason for letting loose on thier glorious kingdom. So upon hearing this I ran for the ocean where I found a small boat that must have just washed to shore at this perfect time for some perfect unknown reason. I sailed out with this until I was found and returned back home with my sexy wife, and cockblock kid. That is...until my next journey.
